Past, Present, and Future
by Sexy Snape
Summary: The truth about the relationship between Sirius Black and Severus Snape. Post HBP.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Since the battle that had claimed Sirius Blacks life his world has been completely different. He felt as though there was not another living being in existence who could understand him. His life was now even more empty than he could have ever imagined. It was cold, dark, lonely, and damned near unbearable, more so recently than during the first few months after Sirius' death. At first he was in denial, the he was full of rage for several things. First of all, he was furious with Sirius for being stupid enough to go to the Ministry. Secondly, he was angry with Dumbledore for not being able to save him. Later, he became completely enraged with the headmaster for discovering a way to bring Sirius back from the veil but refused to do it. It was that which had pushed him over the edge. That which haunted his dreams and every quiet moment that he found during the hours of daylight. That which was the reason he was now sitting in the small, cold, dirty room in Grimuald Place that used to be home to Sirius and his foul hippogriff , Buckbeak.

It was a few weeks before the newest school term would start. The old house had been empty all day so there had been no one there to notice him. He had spent the whole day going over every last thing in the room. He read every book and piece of parchment he came across then set it perfectly back in its place before moving on to the next thing. Oh Merlin, how he missed Sirius. He missed the way he had managed to retain his childlike spirit even after two of his best friends had been killed, after another had betrayed them all, even after spending twelve years in that hell known as Azkaban. Sirius seemed unbreakable in his eyes, but now he was gone and there is no way to bring him back.

When he had made a full round through the room he did it again, and again, and again, until he found himself to be extremely worn out. After removing his shoes and robe he climbed into the bed then pulled the blankets tightly around his pale, thin, food deprived body. Silent tears flowed down his cheeks as he slowly drifted off into sleep.

_He was lying on the floor of the Astronomy tower, on a blanket, looking up at the stars through an open window. They were amazing, always had been in his eyes. The stars were free, they didn't worry about time, and had no care in this world or the next. That's why he had asked Sirius to meet him there. The night sky was the only thing he thought compared to the Gryffindors perfection._

_A smile grew on his face and he sat up when he heard the footsteps making their way up the many stairs to the room where he was waiting. After a brief moment the excitement passed and a wave of fear waved through his body. 'It could be a trick' he thought. 'Sirius could have been lying about everything he said, his entire apology could have been false'. With this thought in his mind, the boy stood up then quickly moved back into the shadows behind him. When the steps halted in the middle of the room he waited quietly in the large shadow. There was no one else in the room, at least no one he could see, anyway. _

"_Severus?" Sirius called as he pulled off the invisibility cloak and dropped it on the floor. "Severus…."_

"Severus!" A more urgent voice in his reality called him from his memory.

Snapes eyes flew open and he jumped from the bed, placing his back against the nearest corner. There were at least five witches and wizards in the room with him, wands drawn and pointed in his direction. A shudder ran through his body and he had to fight off the urge to cry once more before he managed to speak. "Unarmed. Don't hurt me." He said with a shaky voice.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Why should we believe you're unarmed, Snape? You're a traitorous, murderous, lair!" Harry spat as he took a step closer to his old potions master, wand drawn and aimed at the mans throat. "And what are you doing in Sirius' room, laying in his bed, like it's your own?"

"Sirius." Was a;; the Slytherin said in response, a distant look in his eyes.

Harry was clearly ready to kill Snape until Remus Lupin placed a calming hand on his shoulder. "Harry, Hermione, Ron, stay here and the rest of you can go. I'll take care of this." The werewolf said before ushering the Order members from the small room. Cautiously Remus walked over to where Severus was cowering in the corner and knelt down in front of him.

Slowly the Slytherin lifted his eyes to meet those of the werewolf. "He lied to me, Remus." The dark haired man stated quietly.

"Severus, do you have your wand with you? Are you really and truly unarmed?" Lupin asked.

"No. broke it after….." Snape trailed off as his eyes wandered around the room.

"Ok. Who lied to you, Severus?" Lupin questioned.

"Sirius."

"Don't you dare say his name! Don't talk about him, ever, for any reason, you filthy bastard!" Harry yelled from the doorway which caused Snape to move back even further into the corner he felt was protecting him.

"Harry, if you can't remain calm I will have to ask you to wait downstairs with the others."

"But, Remus, how can you even talk to him? He murdered Dumbledore!"

"Please, Ron, take Harry down to the kitchen." Remus said before inhaling deeply and catching the scent of blood. "And send Minerva up, he's hurt badly."

The red head nodded as he tugged on his friends arm. "Come on, mate, let's leave Remus to it." Ron said and, reluctantly, Harry followed.

"Hermione, I trust that you won't be a distraction?" Lupin asked as he stood, lifting Snape to his feet as well.

"No sir. I want to help him same as you do." She replied as she moved closer to the two men. "What can I do other than stand here and feel helpless?"

"I don't know what to do just now. We have to find out what's wrong with him first, I think. As you can tell his mental state is quite fragile." He said before turning his attention back to the wounded man. "Severus, come lie down in the bed so we can take care of this." The Slytherin simply nodded then sat on the edge of the bed.

"Professor…um, Snape, I mean, you will have to remove your shirt so we can examine the injury on your chest." Hermione informed him as if he didn't already know that.

"No." He replied as he shook his head slightly. "Don't want to be healed. Just let me die in peace."

"Severus, don't say things like that." Remus said gently as he rested his hands on the mans forearms to try and comfort him. "I know you are in a great deal of emotion and physical pain right now, but you can't truly want to die."

That was all it took to make Severus Snape lose control of himself completely. The Slytherin leaned forward into the arms of the werewolf as the tears flowed freely over his cheeks. "He lied to me." The man sobbed. "He swore he'd never leave me! He swore he'd always be there after every time I had to go see Him!" Severus continued though he tried to make himself stop. Then the last thing inside him broke. "I miss him, Remus."

"I know, I know." Lupin said as he tightened his hold on the other man ever so slightly trying to comfort him further. "I don't think he would want to see you like this, though. Not over his death."

"He's never coming back. It doesn't matter anymore." The Slytherin said just before the light knock on the door came.

"Ah, Minerva." Remus said after a slight glance upward. "Come now, Severus, take this shirt off so we can take care of that." He pleaded as he motioned toward the large blood stain and tear in the ex-potions masters shirt.

Once more he simply shook his head in response before leaning back to move out of the werewolfs embrace. "No, I told you to let me die. Without him I have no reason to go on with my pathetic existence I call a life."

"Alright, Severus, but at least lie down and rest for awhile." Lupin said as he guided Severus underneath the blanket that covered the bed.

Hermione, who had been standing there in complete silence trying to figure out what should could do to help, was finally began coming to some interesting realizations. With an only slightly confused look she turned to Minerva. "Is there something wrong, Professor?" She asked noting the look on the older woman's face.

"No, not exactly. Um, Remus, could you come downstairs for a moment? There is someone down there whom I think you might want to speak with." Minerva said before stepping out of the room.

Lupin offered an extremely confused look to the animigus before turning back to the girl in the room. "Hermione, can you just sit here with him until he falls asleep? I doubt it would be a wise move to leave him alone right now. If you need anything just come down and get one of us, or yell if it's urgent." Remus said as he stood up. The girl nodded then took a seat in a nearby chair as the werewolf left the room.

The second Lupin stepped into the large kitchen he froze in his tracks. His light brown eyes fell on the very last person he ever thought he would see in this house, or any house, ever again; Sirius Black. "Sirius?"

"Hey, Moony, long time now see." He said with a stupid grin on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

There was a long, awkward silence that fell over the room as everyone just stared as Sirius. The moment only lasted a short time, however, before Hermione came bursting into the room. "Remus." She said breathlessly. "You have to go heal him or he's going to die. He's barely breathing as it is." She stated before turning and going back upstairs.

"Who cares? The greasy bastard deserves to die!" Harry stated loudly enough the retreating girl could hear him.

"Snape's here? He's hurt?" Sirius said and was out of the room before anyone could answer him. He took the steps in twos, Remus following right behind him. When the anamigus pushed the door to his bedroom open his eyes fell on the figure curled up in his bed. "Oh, Severus." He said quietly before turning to the werewolf behind him, tears in his eyes, silently asking what had happened.

"He is hurt and he refuses to let us heal him." Remus told his old friend. "Snape says he wants to die, Sirius." He said a bit louder as he looked towards the bed to see id Snape had heard him or not.

"Sirius." The voice echoed from the bed sounding even weaker now than it he previously.

"Severus, I'm here now. You're going to be fine." Sirius said as he made his way to the bed then slipped under the blanket and wrapped his arms tightly around the ex-potions master. "It's alright. You can sleep now." The anamigus whispered into Snapes ear and, for once in his long life, the Slytherin did as he was told.

Severus was back in his dream again very shortly. Sirius had just come into the tower looking for him….

_After Severus was convinced that the other was truly alone he stepped out of his hiding place. "I was afraid you wouldn't show." Snape sad which earned him one of Sirius' perfect smiles. Blacks smile grew as he took a step closer to the Slytherin. Then, in the next moment, Severus found himself in the arms of a man who used to be his greatest enemy and being kissed passionately. After a few moments the kiss finally broke and they just stood there, eyes locked, and panting._

_Sirius flashed one of his smiles again then said "Harry."_

Snape opened his eyes just enough to make out three figures in the room with him. "Harry," Sirius' voice said again as calmly as he could manage. "Just calm down and let me explain, please?"

"Explain? There's no need to explain anything to me. That bastard murdered Dumbledore and I come up here to find you in here, laying in bed with him, trying to help him!" Harry yelled.

"Harry, there are things here you don't understand. Things we don't even understand. You just need to…."

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down, Remus! This is insane!" The boy replied. "I came up here to talk to Sirius and find him sleeping in the same bed as that greasy son of a…."

"Harry!" Hermione called from the doorway. "Maybe you should ask Sirius about it before you jump to one of your ridiculous conclusions."

"Fine." Harry said through clenched teeth before turning his attention back to his godfather who was now staring at the man laying in the bed. "Why were you in bed with that filthy traitor?"

Sirius stayed quiet for a moment, just looking at Severus, their eyes locked like they were in the dream. "Sirius?" Harry asked once more.

"I love him, Harry." The anamigus finally responded in a quiet voice which drew a slight smile from the potions master.

Harrys jaw dropped upon hearing his godfathers confession. "You WHAT?" His green eyes went from Sirius to Severus then back again. "Tell me you're joking! Tell me he cast the Imperious Curse on you of something!"

"I'm sorry." Snape said quietly s he sat up on the edge of the bed. The wounds on his chest had been healed and he was changed into one of Sirius' shirts while he was sleeping. The shirt was too big and it made the Slytherin look even less healthy than he really was.

"Sorry for what, Sev?" Sirius asked before sitting down on the bed next to the ex-potions master.

Severus barely lifted his eyes in Harrys direction then quickly lowered them again. "He's mad. I'm sorry." He said again before trying to stand up and falling back down on the bed. He was still weak from the injury he had suffered at the hands of his master the night before.

"It's not your fault, Sev." The anamigus said as he slipped his arms around the others shoulders. "Harry is mad because of me. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Had to go see Him again. That's how I got hurt." Snape told Sirius ignoring the others in the room now. "You fixed me?"

"Remus and Hermione healed you. I just helped you get some sleep." Sirius replied as he placed his hand over the place where the worst injury had been, smiling slightly.

"Thank you." The Slytherin said as he looked from Remus to Hermione then back to the man sitting next to him. When his eyes passed around the room he had caught the look Harry was giving him. "Shouldn't touch me." Severus said before reaching up and removing Sirius' hand from his chest. "It upsets Potter."

"Don't worry about that, Sev. We need to take care of you right now. Do you feel strong enough to take a bath?" Sirius as he stood up and helped the ex-potions master to his feet as well.

"Yes, that'd be good." Severus replied before allowing Sirius lead him into the bathroom.

"Remus, Hermione, can you take Harry downstairs and make us something to eat? I'll be down after I get Severus back to bed and asleep." The anamigus called from the bathroom. The three of them left the room and closed the door behind them.

Sirius moved about the small bathroom quickly, running the water, getting a towel and a robe from the closet, and moving the soap where it could be easily reached from the tub. After finishing all of this he turned to his shattered lover and forced a slight smile. "Do you need help getting undressed and into the tub?"

"Please." The Slytherin said in a quiet voice as he leaned down to feel the temperature of the water. He felt so weak and pathetic in this moment. He was being forced to ask for help doing the simplest things, something he would never have done before.

The former Gryffindor gently caressed Severus' cheek before drawing him into his arms and hugging him for a moment then releasing him. After helping Snape remove his torn, dirty clothing the anamigus helped him into the tub. Sirius sat on a small stool next to the large tub and simply watched as the Slytherin relaxed and closed his eyes. After a minute Sirius picked up a cup that sat next to the tub and used it to soak the others hair before washing it, rinsing it and repeating the motion until it was clean.

"Dumbledore brought you back, didn't he?" Severus finally said as he letting his lover dry him off then placed the bath robe on him.

"Yes."

"When did he do it?"

"During the Christmas holiday. It took him a month to convince me I was actually alive again. Took another two months to rebuild my muscles even with the spells." Sirius paused for a moment as he placed his hands on each of the others shoulders. "It would have taken longer but he said you needed me back."

These words caused Severus to move forward into the anamigus' arms. "He was right. I mean, look at me now."

"Come on, let's get you to bed." Sirius said before leading the Slytherin back to the room, helping him into clean clothes, then making him comfortable in the bed. "Need me to stay with you until you fall asleep?"

Severus simply nodded. "Did Dumbledore say anything else after he brought you back?"

"Not really. He told me I couldn't talk to you until you 'did what you had to do', whatever that means."

"Albus was a good man." The ex-potions master said with a distant look in his eyes.

"Yes, Sev, he was."

"I killed him."

"I know."

"You can't possibly love me anymore."

"Why not?"

"I'm a murderer. I'm truly a Death Eater again."

"No, you're not. Sleep now." Sirius said as he lay down next to his love, wrapping his arms tightly around him as the Slytherin drifted off once more.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Somehow Hermione and Ron had managed to keep Harry out of Sirius' room while Snape recovered. Had to be only by the grace of Merlin himself. It had been nearly a week since the whole ordeal had first happened and though the Slytherin was doing better his mental state was still rather fragile. Sirius had eventually gotten him to talk about what happened and could only assume this effect had come from extensive use of the Crucio curse. After all, it had been proven that having it used on you too many times could turn your mind to mush.

"Sirius?" Snape said one afternoon when he finally woke up and felt strong enough to actually do something other then lay around all day.

"He's downstairs talking to Harry." Remus said from one of the chairs that had once been caked in dust but was no longer due to actually being used. "Do you need something?"

"I'm just a bit hungry. I can wait." He stated as he pulled himself into a sitting position. Truth be told he felt a great deal better now but he feared if he showed it he would be sent away from the house. "I heard you talking to Granger earlier. Is it true they finally cleared Black's name for the Potter murders?" Snape questioned.

"They did." Remus stated with a smile on his lips. "Here, you might want to see this." The werewolf added as he handed Severus the latest copy of the Daily Prophet which, in large, bold letter across the top read, 'Severus Snape still at wanted for questioning in Dumbledore murder'.

"You think if I turned myself in they'd give me an award of some kind?" He asked in his almost normally tone.

"I doubt it, Severus."

Snape lowered his eyes back to the paper in his hands and sighed outwardly. "Pity. I was so hoping for the public recognition for capturing the most wanted man in the Wizarding world." He paused for a moment as he flipped to the next page. "Other then the Dark Lord, of course." There was another pause as he closed the paper and set it on the floor. "Then again, not even he could manage to kill Dumbledore."

Lupins smile faded at the last comment. "You did kill him." It wasn't a question it was a confirmation. Not that he had disbelieved Harry when he said it, but he knew how the young mans mind could have been manipulated into seeing something that was real.

The Slytherin lowered his eyes to his hands which sat, shaking, on his lap. "He asked it of me." Snape responded without looking up. "Can you go get Sirius now?" He asked in a whisper that oddly reminded Lupin of a frighten child.

"Course." Remus answered before getting up and leaving the room.

Severus became worried when fifteen minutes had passed and Sirius hadn't come up yet. What was taking him so long? Maybe Lupin told them what he had said and they were deciding what to do about it. Maybe they had called the Ministry and were waiting on orders. _I should go….. _he thought to himself as he glanced around to find the clothes he had been wearing when he arrived. It was in that moment that the door opened and Sirius came in carrying a small tray with some toast and juice on it. "Hey." He said as he sat the tray on Snapes lap. "You feeling better I take it."

"Some." He stated as he picked up the glass of juice and drank it all in one large swallow. He knew it would only upset his stomach but he couldn't recall the last time he had had something to drink.

"Moony told us what you told him." This statement mad Severus look away once more. "I don't believe it, though. I know you never would have hurt anyone, especially not Dumbledore. He was like a father to you after you started school there. You told me so yourself."

The Slytherin sat in silence for what seemed like forever before throwing the tray from his lap onto the floor. "I did it." He stated in as firma tone as he could muster. Seeing that Sirius still didn't believe him he placed his hands on either side of the former Gryffindors face to force eye contact. "I! Killed! Dumbledore!"

There were now unshed tears in Black's eyes as he realized he had either underestimated Snape's dark side or overestimated his ability to love. "And you didn't believe me." Harry said from the doorway. He has his wand in hand just in case he might be given a reason to use it.

After a second Sirius tore himself from his former lovers grip. Quickly he stood up and moved away from the bed and the man he thought he had known. He moved his lips as if he were going to speak but was unable to form a decipherable sentence form all the questions running through head. "W-why?" He eventually managed.

"I don't know." He said his usually malicious look returning to his face. "Perhaps he irked me beyond all reason with his riddles on how Potter would save us all. Perhaps," He began as he pulled himself from the bed to stand at his full height though his body ached in protest. "I got tired of risking my life for him and knew I could never be free until one of my masters were gone. Or maybe I'm just a truly sadistic bastard who takes so much pleasure in other peoples pain that I knew this would effect so many I could be set for life!"

Sirius' expression change so quickly as he lifted his hand and pointed a single finger at Snape. It was so close to the end of the Slytherins nose that he would have to cross his eyes to look at it. "You, Severus Snape, are a horrible liar!"

Everyone else in the room was filled with rage over what Severus had just said because they thought it to all be true. Black, however, was enraged because he knew none of it was truth. Harry, who now had his wand pointed at the ex-potions master, took a step closer to the two men in the middle of the room. He could see how heavily his godfather was breathing. Could see the tears that had been building up in his eyes threatening to spill over. "Sirius." He said as calmly as possible not wanting to put anymore hatred into the air at that moment.

"You're right." Snape said after what must have been a five minute silence in which the tension only increased. The two men continued to stare at one another. Neither ones eyes waved, not even for an instant. "Dumbledore asked me to."

"Why would he want to die?" Harry asked doing his best to keep his rage from exploding from the end of his wand as some unknown curse.

"Because, Potter," Snape said finally turning his attention to the green eyed boy. "He was already dying and didn't want to suffer any longer then necessary."

"The curse on the ring poisoned him?"

"Yes, Potter." The Slytherin answered before his body finally gave out forcing him to kneel down on the hard floor.

Sirius quickly bent down to help the other back to his feet. However, Severus was unable to support himself at all and the anamigus ended up practically carrying him back to the bed. "You need to rest now, Sev." Black said as he covered the other up and made sure he was comfortable.

"Whatever you say, _Mother_." The Slytherin stated which actually caused everyone in the room to gasp. It wasn't the comment itself, but that fact that Severus Snape was capable of attempting to make a joke.

"Good night, _Sweetheart_." Sirius quickly retorted.


End file.
